Stop Making Resolutions. Start Making Real Change

Ambiguity to the mind is like standing under a street lamp trying to find your keys when they are under the couch in your house.

Our minds only know what we show them clearly. Resolutions are ambiguous statements of choice rather than anything substantial. That is why they don't last. Ambiguity to the mind is like standing under a street lamp trying to find your keys when they are under the couch in your house. Take for example: My resolution is to go to the gym at least three times a week. This to the mind is equivalent to saying: "I've decided to drive to the place where there are weights and exercise equipment, stand there and drive home." When the mind sees that, it says, "I'd rather just stay at home." And when a person finds out their resolutions don't work and wonders why, they stop making them altogether. Then what happens after that?

A week goes by, a month goes by, then it's the new year again. How fast did 2025 go by for you? How fast did the last decade go by for you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to? How many projects, goals, and desires were left undone and unmet? If you did not achieve the many things you wanted to do, then this was not a problem with what you wanted to do or even your resolution, or decision to do them, but your commitment to do it. A commitment is like a flashlight. It shines upon what you really want to do. It sets your intentions in motion.

Look at these statements and compare:

Resolution: My resolution is to write everyday.

Commitment: I commit to write 500 words each day, five days a week.

You can say, "My resolution is to write 500 words each day, five days a week." But that keeps things static. It says that was a decision I made. It's not a commitment to anything. My brain says I made a decision. I only resolved to do something. I'm not saying that I'm actively doing anything to the exclusion of everything. There is a world of difference. Just try it.

Say, "My resolution is…" or "I resolve to…" and then say, "I commit to doing…" How does it feel to say I commit to do something? It is like finding your keys after looking forever for them. It shines directly at what you want to do rather than have a vague idea about what you want to do.

He's a very busy practicing and teaching physician, but he made this commitment because he had cancer and knows the value of time over the value of money.

Commitments to something speak louder than words and help frame exactly what you want to do. In other words, commitments are ways you achieve the vision for your life. For example, one of my clients made a commitment to have help completing his manuscript and getting his book published.

There was a long editing process with Jessica Cole, editor extraordinary, then there was a video interview with my other partner, Kate Martin Williams, then he went through an extensive book creation process. His commitment was through his money, time, and willingness to learn and grow. The outcome was a number one bestselling book on Amazon, a write-up in a newspaper, and even now his first book signing in Los Angeles. He's not a writer. He's a very busy practicing and teaching physician, but he made this commitment because he had cancer and knows the value of time over the value of money.

This is what commitment is about. It is saying this is what I value about my life. This is what I want. And this is how I will achieve it. What are things you can commit to in 2026? Are they achievable, realistic, and will stretch you to grow a little, not improve for improvement's sake, but to flourish for the sake of who you are and your relationships?

So, I've finished writing this about the difference between commitment and resolutions in approximately 630 words, without using an AI tool to do so. It started while Paula and I were walking Layla and me wanting a way to help you in 2026. I hope that in this year you not only resolve to do what you want, but also make a commitment to it. Write it down on a piece of paper and put it on your computer and on your refrigerator. See where you are on the eve of 2027.